Book Review:

The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

Author: Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider

Country: USA

Language: English

Subject(s): Relationships, Dating

Genre(s): Self-help

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing,(Warner Books)

Publication date: 1995-02-14

Media type: Print

Pages: 192

ISBN: 0-446-51813-1

The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a best-selling 1995 book co-authored by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

The Rules are predicated on the author's thesis that men are thrillseekers engaged by a hunting instinct.[3] While they seem mostly about "playing hard to get", they are also about training men, like for example rule 7. This seems more into changing his behaviour, than anything else. [7] Some of the Rules seem strongly culturally biased. For example, in Scandinavia, Germany and the Netherlands, women would generally feel that following rule 4 (not paying for the date) and 12 (expecting gifts) are putting her in debt with the man. Some women in these cultures might even consider following these rules tantamount to prostitution, and believe that costs for the first two or three dates should surely be split, so as not to create unwanted expectations. This stands in contrasts to other cultures as in North America and southern Europe, where women might expect the man to pay for her.

01: Be a “Creature” Unlike Any Other

02: Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)

03: Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

04: Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date

05: Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls[3]

06: Always End Phone Calls and dates First

07: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday

08: Fill Up Your Time before the Date

09: How to Act on Dates 1,2, & 3 End the date first especially if you like him.

10: How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time

11: Always end the date first

12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day

13: Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week

14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date

15: Don't Rush into Sex & Other Rules for Intimacy

16: Don't Tell Him What to Do

17: Let Him Take the Lead[3]

18: Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him

19: Don’t Open Up Too Fast

20: Be Honest but Mysterious[3]

21: Accentuate the Positive & Other Rules for Personal Ads

22: Don’t Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)

23: Don't Date a Married Man

24: Slowly Involve Him in Your Family & Other Rules for Women with Children

25: Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)

26: Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules

27: Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends & Parents Think It's Nuts

28: Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School

29: Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College

30: NEXT! & Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection

31: Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist.[3]

32: Rules May Be Pulled Out of Thin Air If the Situation Requires

33: Do The Rules and You’ll Live Happily Ever After!

34: Love Only Those Who Love You

35: Be Easy to Live With